You know the bulls**t that you have to go through on a daily basis. Your mom wants you to be a woman. Your dad thinks you`re a worthless piece of sh** and doesn`t think that you`ll ever amount to anything. Hell, I know what pain is like. Is it my fault I was born this way or am i going to do something about it? You could turn to your friend but maybe HE just wants to turn you into a crackhead, or your other friend that wants to be your boyfriend, and when you tell him you`re not gay, he decides to throw you into the streets like he does with all of his other friends. So where do you turn?
Certainly not your sister! She does not know what pain is like. To the laptop computers, fancy cars, and attention you can never get. Its funny how they give you everything when the other one sleeps in an abandoned apartment. Is that fear in your eyes when that girl scares you? Who was there to help when you needed it? Was she ever there for me? NO!
Maybe you could turn to your neighbor who you`ve been friends with all of your life. He`ll tell you that you are a loser and that you will never amount to anything in life. Some friend huh! It`s funny how one year later he gets jealous of what you do and wants to destroy every amount of hard work that you put in. "I don`t see you having the patience to do this." Now do you see the patience I`ve put in! What are you going to do about it now!
So where do you turn when your world is falling away? You do whatever it takes to survive because if you don`t, you simply errode to the point of submission and feel no need to keep going. Fight through the pain like you have no other option, because in all honesty, you dont! Take one day at a time. It doesn`t matter if you`re the fat kid getting picked on or a person dying of cancer. One day worth of improvement gives you the mind set of getting better which will eventually lead to an end result that will make you happy!
If you believe that there is a way out of your problem, you will get out. Now think of the consequences of giving up. You are disgracing yourself and will never receive the respect from people that you deserve. I`ve seen submission with my own eyes from myself and others around me which turned the atmosphere into that of a funeral. If you`re willing to sacrifice it all for what you really want in life, you will be successful.
Does pain come with a price? Your damn right! Every day is a new lesson waiting to learned and you must be willing to take the good with the bad. You MUST think of everything as beneficial, even if you`re on your death bed waiting to die. It`s all worth the price in the end and when people look at your grave at least you will be honored. If you died right now, how would you want people to think of you? As a person who always got everything his or her way, or a person who battled through their struggles head on and overcame each of their problems like it was nothing. You have the power to defeat anything, it all starts with your mind.
April 23, 2006